i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Vodka?
Forever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
