Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
