Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
