I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize