if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
