I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
