you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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