smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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