No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
