So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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