You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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