I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
