I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
