i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
