Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
