We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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