You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
