My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
