You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
