come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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