Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
