You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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