After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
