"it" just moved
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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