North Korea, Best Korea!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I deserve this hangover.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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