If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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