I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Green mimosas i think yes
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
