I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
