I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
