Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
