Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
