if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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