heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
