True but thats because hes a fetus.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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