I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
