I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
