He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
