That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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