Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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