I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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