I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I look better un-naked...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
