He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
