She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
