my shit smells like andre
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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