I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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