i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize