I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
