Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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