The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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