this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
