Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
