Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
FUCK WHALES
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