Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
