I've blown a few things in my day
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Text me some of your sweat
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
