I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
