We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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