Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
