Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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