OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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